Can Women "Have it all?"

I've been thinking/reading about something this last week. Something that many people have really different opinions on. It's about women, and whether or not we can "have it all." My mom stayed home with me and did not work for the first eight years of my life - until she had to go back to work because she became a single parent. Even then, she structured a lot of her time around my sister and I. So, I grew up thinking that's the way it should be. The mom stays home - if she at all can, and her world is her children. Now that I am older, I have conflicted feelings. My mother does not regret staying home, but she does say that she wants better for my sister and I financially. She chose a career that would be ideal for raising children, but does not pay much. She also chose to stay out of that field for a while so she could be home with her children. Instead of honoring her for doing this, her husband chose to leave her - with two small children and no way to support them. It was hard. By God's grace we made it, but I do understand why my mother wants to make sure we can support ourselves.

If I am to get married some day, I will not get married with the fear that my husband might leave me. I try to explain this to my mom. It really is sad that my father chose to sin and run from his family and God. It hurt all of us so much. It had lasting consequences for our lives. But if I marry, I will marry trusting God that this is the person He has for me to spend my life with, and I will trust my husband to be faithful and have the same goals that I do. If I chose to work during my marriage/raising children, I want it to be because I desire to or feel God calling me to, not because I am afraid not to. That being said, if a girl feels like God has placed a calling on her life to go into a certain career/field, does that mean that she can't be a wife and mother too? I never thought so, but some people interpret the scripture very strictly when it comes to this topic. They strongly believe that the woman's place is at home. Her job is to serve her husband and her children. And working outside of the home will get in the way of her being able to do that. I don't necessarily disagree with these thoughts - but I do think that there is a not a "one size fits all" scenario for any family. It would depend on what the woman in question felt like she had the ability and strength to do - and what her husband feels comfortable with.

I have no idea how the calling God has given me in the area of mental health work/pursuing an advanced Psychology degree will fit into my life should I get married and have a family. Only he knows if I will get married and have a family - I would like to have those things, but right now I am focusing on the calling that I know I have from God; the calling that is right before me. There is a lot of pressure as a girl to focus on finding a husband and starting a family, especially when you've already graduated college. And especially when thirty starts to "loom" closer (ok, so it's six years away, but still!) But honestly, right now, that is not my goal. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing things "backwards," like I'm missing some memo that many other girls have seemed to have gotten. But for the most part, I just try to rest in the peace of knowing that I am exactly where God wants me to be, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.