To Write Love on Her Arms

I came across an amazing cause today: To Write Love on Her Arms. I had seen it several times on facebook, but I hadn't really paid attention. In fact, I don't pay attention to many causes on facebook. I am not really a bandwagon joiner most of the time. But today, as I read about it, I was really impressed. In case you don't know, the movement was inspired by a nineteen year-old girl who was addicted to drugs and mutilating herself. The band Switchfoot took her in for five days when she wasn't accepted at a rehab center because they didn't have a detox program. They write:

She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds. Six hours after I meet her, she is feeling trapped, two groups of "friends" offering opposite ideas. Everyone is asleep. The sun is rising. She drinks long from a bottle of liquor, takes a razor blade from the table and locks herself in the bathroom. She cuts herself, using the blade to write "FUCK UP" large across her left forearm.

The girl was accepted to a rehab center after having spent five days with this group of guys. And they remained forever changed:

We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.

We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.

I have learned so much in one week with one brave girl. She is alive now, in the patience and safety of rehab, covered in marks of madness but choosing to believe that God makes things new, that He meant hope and healing in the stars. She would ask you to remember.

Renee has now been sober for two years. This group of guys was inspired to create a cause, and they have now involved many, many other artists in it. To Write Love on Her Arms in now a non-profit group that raises money for organizations such as the National Hopeline Network, Self-Abuse Finally Ends, and Mercy Ministries. The organization also has staff who answer the emails and messages sent in by people to their MySpace page. Many of these emails and messages are cries for help from struggling people. Switchfoot uses their concert tours to promote the organization and bring awareness to the widespread struggles of depression, addictions, and self-injury. To Write Love on Her Arms believes:

However, while all addictions are very difficult to overcome, help and treatment are out there and available, and recovery and freedom are possible.

We believe this is true whether someone’s struggles may be self injury, depression, drugs and alcohol, body image issues, sexual addiction, or other areas of brokenness.

Research shows that those who seek professional help and therapy have a very good chance of recovery, and finding relief from symptoms such as depression and anxiety as well as others. (APA, 1998)

We at TWLOHA believe that rescue is possible, and are committed to communicating hope to others who know the daily struggle of living in a broken world.

Very rarely do I come across a cause that I feel like I must join. This is definitely one of them. There is such a desperate need for the body of Christ to reach out to those who are struggling in these ways - those often within the body itself. It's time for the Christian community to stop being afraid of things like depression, drugs, self-mutilation, and eating disorders, and begin to offer hope. Who is in a better position to offer hope than those who have the ultimate Hope? I am so blown away by these Christian guys who decided to step up and help a friend. In the process, they helped themselves, and are now helping thousands, if not millions, of struggling people find freedom.

And where do you work???

I really have a fun time trying to explain to people where I work. I used to take for granted that when I said MHMR people would automatically know what I was talking about. But that's hardly the case! Few people, unless they're in the medical or mental health profession, know what MHMR is. So, when I am asked what it is, I say, "Mental Health Mental Retardation." Still, a blank stare. Usually, at that point, I try to explain that it's a state agency, it serves people with mental retardation and mental illness, etc. Now trying to explain what I do in my position is another challenge. So, I just say that I'm basically really really important. Of course :)

Although MHMR is not known to everyone, I knew about its existence for many years, mainly because of Psychology classes. I was nervous about working there. After all, they serve a challenging demographic - people with a mental illness, mental retardation, or both - and often lacking resources. But, despite my fears, I have to say that I really really like my job!! It's great! It is serving as confirmation to me that I am most definitely cut out for work in the mental health field. I love visiting client's homes: nice homes, homes that are about to collapse, big homes, small homes, homes in the projects, dirty homes, crowded homes, clean homes. I get to see such diversity! I also enjoy visiting schools and prisons and mental health hospitals and doctor's offices. My job is NEVER boring! Whether a crisis or a "situation," a staff meeting or a client visit, every encounter brings the opportunity to learn something I had never known before and provides a great story (usually several) to tell later! The true blessing of being employed at MHMR is working with co-workers who feel the same way I do about our clients: that they are people just like us, that they deserve to have the same rights and respect as anyone else, and that despite the difficulty of some of their situations and disabilities, they are never beyond the reach of someone's help. Working at MHMR often involves serving populations that the rest of society has given up on - or doesn't know what to do with. It's an extremely rewarding job. I am proud to work at a place that reaches out to so many, that if not helped by MHMR, would otherwise not have a chance at a normal life. And thank you God for leading me to this job! :)

Grown Woman?!

So today, we got off of work at 3pm, which was wonderful! Before holidays, we always get off at 3pm for some reason, but I won't complain! One of my co-workers has a friend who used to cut hair professionally. She still cuts peoples' hair every once in a while. So a bunch of us from work headed to her house at 3. She lives in a neighborhood where, for some reason, a lot of young boys live. She helps to run a ministry for at-risk youth in Bryan, so she has a lot of girls over at her house all the time. She says her "boy" neighbors only visit her when the girls are there. So, sure enough, some of them came over while we were getting our hair cut. They helped themselves to her food and began asking the age of every girl in the room - and whether or not we were engaged or married. :) One of the more talkative boys was trying to guess how old we were, and he looked at me and said, "She looks like a grown woman!" Then he proceeded to guess I was 25. Mind you, he was a high school kid, but still!! I was one of the younger of the "grown women" in the room. I didn't know whether to be flattered or insulted, but either way, it was funny. That's probably what I get for wearing glasses (my contact tore again). I think I look a lot older and more intimidating with glasses. But, it got me thinking about how I am a grown woman in many ways. Scary!! I don't if I'm ready to own that status. Some days, I feel so mature. I have a college degree, a real job, and I find myself looking at children and thinking, aww, it would be fun to have one of those. Then there are the days when I sleep til noon on a Saturday, only to get up and watch five hours of America's Next Top Model and days when I feel like a little kid trying to do a grown-up job - shocked when adults actually ask me for advice on how something should be done. I think it's safe to say that I'm solidly in between - half a grown woman, confident and poised, and half a girl, still figuring out her place in the world.

Never Find a Love Like This

I feel blessed to have realized this truth by twenty-three years of age. I know that some people search their whole lives to discover that there is no love out there quite as satisfying as God's. Sadly, some never do. One of the most awesome realizations of my young life has been that no matter how long or hard or far I search, nothing will complete me like Him. No, I didn't have to go search through everything out there to find that out, but I have gone through pain, struggles, and times when I thought it just couldn't get any tougher. Always, always when I thought I couldn't take another step, that is when God has met me and proven that yes, His love for me extends even this far. Though the toughest of times aren't enjoyable, they do bring me a kind of joy I don't even have words to describe. (And for those who know how much I can talk, that's saying something :) Because reaching low points means that I get a chance to see how big God really is - I get an opportunity to feel just how strong a hold He has on my life, and how secure I've really been all along. Then I am filled with such peace. And a confidence that defies logic and reason - confidence that no matter where I go or how low my life seems to sink, that it's never too much for Him. And that is when I know the truth: No matter where my life takes me, I will never find a love like this.

This is strange.....

No, I'm not married. I'm not having a child. And I'm not on a missionary journey to a foreign land. I decided to make a blog just because. Because I wanted to. I know that you don't have to have a reason to make one, but it seems like a lot of people start one for the reasons I listed above.

I don't know how I feel about having a blog. I read a lot of other peoples.' I love to write, and reading all of the posts by everyone else makes me want to share my thoughts too! But I sometimes question whether or not posting in blogs is egocentric. It's as if you're assuming that everyone will want to read about your life. Like it's something extra special everyone should take time out of their day to check out. But the truth is, people do enjoy reading about other people's lives. I know I do. So I think, what the heck?

I think writing in a blog fills a need to be heard - to have an identity that can be captured electronically. It's the same need that gives Facebook and MySpace their appeal. But I like how personalized blogs can be. Minus all of the million applications!!

So that, in short (or not so short), is why I have started a blog :)