Grandfather knows best

So I'm moving again tomorrow. And my grandparents are coming down to help me move for the second time. That's right, they're incredible grandparents. They've always been there for me, but especially since college. They're just a phone call away and then they're driving to come help me out. I truly couldn't do it without their love and support. The way they have stepped in and assumed such a protective and providing role in my life is worth more than I can express in words. My grandparents have been married for over fifty years, and I couldn't picture either one without the other. Each of them definitely fills a unique role in their partnership. I have a wonderful mother, so I have gotten to see what a strong woman looks like. But I haven't always had a strong male role model - at least not one I could turn to. My grandfather has really assumed this role in the past several years. And I love the things I'm learning and observing by having him in my life. Since I'm into lists lately, here goes:

-He loves providing for his family

-He never complains about serving people he loves

-He excels in showing his love through actions rather than words

-When he is around we all feel more safe & secure (he knows how to kill wild animals & bugs!)

-He knows a lot about a lot of things, and I always can trust his advice
-He always leads his family in prayer

-The best way to show him you love him is to respect him and let him know you appreciate & need him

I'm just now realizing that what I'm learning about my grandfather is shaping what I want out of a future husband. Interesting, huh? I have always had ideas of what I wanted, but this makes it more concrete, more real. How blessed am I to have a grandfather who is willing and able to be this example for me? Thanks God for Your provision.

Back to the beginning...

So, it appears that I am back where I began, Pearland that is.  I am pretty happy to be here.  My friend Cristina (and her older sister) are letting me stay with them for the week while I'm "working from home."  We are officially called back to work as of Monday, but our building is definitely not ready for employees.  We had a meeting yesterday at our conference center (next door), and then we took a trip (with hard hats and glasses!) into our building.  All I can say is YIKES! It really does look, as my supervisor warned, like the "hurricane went through it."  No electricity = no air, no light.  Trying to find your stuff when the cubes have been torn apart and you can barely see your hand in front of you is madness.  I took a flashlight back up to find my blackberry cord!  We are supposed to be up and running on the third floor by Monday, but I really doubt it.  So, for now, I am stationed in Pearland with friends, attempting to do whatever "work" I can.  Cristina and her sister still aren't back to school, as they're waiting for the rest of Pearland to get power.  As for the apartment situation, we got approved to store our stuff in our old apartment until the end of the week! Praise the Lord!!! And, I went to drop off my proof of income at the new apartment.  I just LOVE the neighborhood our new apartment is in! It's beautiful.  Very residential and, I might add, right NEXT TO A BARNES AND NOBLE & A CHICKFILA!!! Who could ask for more???

Evicted!

Me: Hello
Man: Hi, your apartment is unlivable. We're tearing it down.
Me: Huh? What? Unlivable? What about our stuff?
Man: Have it out ASAP - as in before Monday.

Ok, so not exactly evicted. More like have to leave because they're tearing our apartment down. The water damage & mold growth was just too much for it to be "livable." And it will take three months to rebuild. There were eight apartments in our complex that are having to be completely torn down & rebuilt. And since we were one of the last people they called (I don't really know why), they had assigned out all the extra apartments in the complex, except for a one bedroom. Boo. So we were told on Friday afternoon that we needed to have our stuff out before Monday! (Fortunately our stuff was mostly unharmed but the apartment smells terrible!!!) Needless to say, we renegotiated the moving out time. They said they would wait to "tear it down" until after Monday. I am going to the apartment office tomorrow to see if we can get them to wait to "tear it down" until the end of the week. By the grace of God (and with some help from my roommate's friend), we found an apartment in another complex that opened up Friday (the same day we were told we had to move!). Apartments are extra hard to come by in this area, and this complex, though nearby, didn't get much damage, relatively speaking. We are so relieved to have a place to live, (can anyone say homeless?) but we can't move in to the new apartment until Friday. I received a call from work this morning saying we are "working from home" this week, and I need to come to a meeting at 11am Monday morning (at another location than our building). I told my boss about my apartment situation, and she basically said I need to be available if called. So, it's back to Houston for me. I don't really know that I have much work to do from home honestly, but we shall see. My friend Cristina is graciously letting me stay with her again. I don't think I know where I belong anymore!! It's been truly crazy! I can't wait to get settled into my new new apartment and for good this time. I guess the first was just a practice round! Here's to new jobs and moving and hurricanes and weeks off work and unlivable apartments! Whew!!!

Ike & Dr. Pepper

So, it's now day 9 of being in College Station! Ike decided it was time for me to go home AGAIN - for the millionth time in a row! Last weekend was the weekend I was planning to NOT come into CS. I wanted to finally get more settled into my new apartment and city. Oh well, right? :) I have definitely had fun during this indefinite "vacation." I feel very blessed to have come to a place with power, water, and friends & family. I know tons of people were not so fortunate. My work building got hit really badly - water in the elevators, one of the floors pretty demolished (it's a big six story building off the Southwest freeway). My boss calls me periodically to give me updates. It looks like we won't be back to work by Monday. My apartment complex in the medical center was one of the least hit in the area! Yeah! But, our unit (my roommates have gone to check it out) has some bad water damage & mold in the living room. The carpet is already being pulled up. Apparently, it doesn't smell too nice :( So, I'm hanging out here as long as I can. While being in College Station, I have been enjoying:

1. Seeing/talking to friends in the area
2. Visiting/eating lunch with my former co-workers
3. Sleeping in!
4. Spending good, quality time with my sister (and mother)
5. Seeing my dog, Hallie every day :)
6. Reading a good book, The Shack
7. Watching movies

When I met my former co-workers (whom I miss dearly!) for lunch yesterday, I was running late as usual. But, in my defense, they start getting ready to go to lunch at like 11am - and I woke up at 10:30am!! Anyways, I walked in around 11:50 and I saw a Dr. Pepper waiting for me at the table. I immediately felt like I had come "home." They do know me well. I sat down and we immediately began laughing and joking like old times. It's the little things like your favorite drink waiting for you that can make your day. I know it's the right in my life for me to be living in Houston and working at a new job. But, I do miss the comfortable and warming familiarity of people who just know you. It's nice :) So I'm going to enjoy it while I can. Here's to "indefinite vacations!"

Redemption

Redemption. I was reminded of this word last night as I drove home on 610 from a Bible study. Redemption is one of the passion's of my heart. Yes, redemption in the ultimate sense. That Christ died on the cross to redeem a world full of sinful people. But also redemption in all of the smaller ways it happens. Let's face it: redemption is beautiful. There is almost nothing I love better than a story of someone or something being redeemed. Brought back to life. Restored. Made whole again. Rescued when it was certain they were unrescuable. These things bring tears to my eyes. In a way no romance movie or sappy Hallmark commerical could. This, for me, is what makes life worth living.

I've loved stories of redemption since I was a little girl. Probably because they touch my heart in a deep, spiritual place. That place where Christ fills. When I witness redemption, I am strongly reminded of Christ's love for me. Each time, I hear him whispering, "That's what I did for you."
For me, it's the ultimate love story. One of the most wonderful things about receiving God's redemption through Christ is that you not only get to experience the ultimate redemption of your sins, but you also get to experience redemption on an on-going basis. He really does make all things new. ALL the time! There is nothing His love cannot reach, touch, or save. I get chills just thinking about it.

This beautiful and life-changing knowledge is what I wish to bring to those who are suffering. It's what first began my desire to counsel. It's so personal, so real, that once someone experiences it there is no way they can ever go back to being the way they were. I am not a crier. But I cried (small tears:) last night during Bible study. Because the leader told a story about her husband. He was trying to take a personality test and he's just never fit any of the "typical" personalities. He had such a difficult and scarred childhood that he began to wonder what he would have turned out like if he could have grown up normally. He felt mournful about that loss. And she responded, "But you are so much more beautiful healed then well." And that is the awe-inspiring truth when Christ is daily redeeming your life. Redeeming every circumstance, every struggle, every hurt. We live in such a messy world. I don't enjoy the messiness, but I do enjoy seeing what God does with it. Because he takes it and makes it into something better than it was before. I get to live with the confidence that when I face a seemingly insurmountable struggle, that I am not only going to come out ok, but I am going to come out BETTER then I was before!!! This absolutely does NOT take away the reality of the suffering or hurt. It does not mean that the suffering or hurt was ok. But it does mean that in those times when they're unavoidable, we can trust in faith that the victory will be HIS in the end. All is not lost; there is a greater reason, and this will be an opportunity for Christ to show you just how deeply He's able to heal.

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. "
~Ephesians 3:17-19

Again

So I have begun the process of researching and applying to graduate programs in Psychology AGAIN. For the THIRD time. It should be a charm, right? I have actually never applied to any Master's programs before. But I'm adding them in this time - in addition to some PhD programs. I was directed to a webiste, the Society for Community Research and Action, which has a listing of Clinical-Community PhD and Master's level programs. These are exactly the type of programs I'm interested in with the kind of research I want to do. But the trick is getting in.

I'm willing to go the Master's route this time around. I would love to start in a PhD program with full funding, but I have learned from past experience not to hold my breath. Why I am even applying then? Because I know I'm qualified to be accepted, but I also know how tough the odds are. Acceptance rates vary from 2%-20%. (Only one school is above 10%). Yes, I did calculate these rates as a way to view the competitiveness of each program. Master's programs don't even list program stats. (Also known as disclosure data). I find myself hoping that I can just get into a good Master's program.

I am a fairly confident person, but the experience of applying to graduate schools has, at times, shaken some of my confidence. So, forgive me if I'm a little insecure when it comes to this application process (after not being accepted twice). It's hard to explain to other people why it's such a hard process, but I try. I want to have a disclaimer, "No, I'm not a failure, it's just really impossible to get accepted!" I know that not being accepted doesn't equal failure, but it can sure feel that way as the thin little envelopes arrive in the mail!

None of the programs I'm looking at are in Texas. They range from California to the Midwest to New York. I will most likely start working with a Clinical Psychology lab here in Houston this semester, and I hope to get good advice from people there. And I'm not being shy about directly emailing professors in the programs this time either. It doesn't hurt to ask! I could use and would greatly appreciate prayers for God's guidance and peace during this process.

Living in Houston

I'm just starting to get settled into living in a new place. It's a transition, seeing as how I've always lived in the same place prior to now.

Things I like about living in Houston so far:

1. Being close to downtown (there's so much to do & see!)
2. Endless choices of good places to eat!
3. Driving on the freeways (I actually think this is fun, minus the honking!)
4. Listening to 104.1 Roula & Ryan show on the way to work
5. Being silly with my roommates
6. Grocery shopping for myself (I love shopping at stores like HEB plus!)
7. Cleaning the apartment the way I like to clean it (Weird, I know)
8. Being in a place where there are so many young singles my age

Things I'm adjusting to:

1. Not seeing my dog, Hallie every day :(
2. Not being able to call up my sister and go do something
3. Not having internet or cable for right now!!
4. Climbing THREE flights of stairs to get to my apartment (this is good for me!)
5. Missing the beautiful, green country landscape of the Brazos Valley area (I just noticed this after I moved to Houston)
6. Not coming home to dinner already cooked for me (Yes, I know I was spoiled)
7. Missing tv nights with my family
8. Having my good friends scattered all over Texas & the US (that's what phones are for, so answer your phones! :)

My Hubcap

So this is the story. Someone stole a hubcap on my Acura senior year of college. I would park my car by one of the Aggie bus stops near my neighborhood. One day I noticed the hubcap on my front driver's side was gone. I was annoyed because the wheel is a lot prettier with a hubcap. And I had just gotten the car. Anyways, six months pass, and one day I notice that there is a hubcap on my front driver's side wheel!! I did a double take and tried to remember if I had just imagined that it was missing. Someone put it back!! When was all of this going on? When I was asleep? When I was in class and left the car at the bus stop? Apparently someone felt the need to borrow a hubcap. Or they were going to sell it but felt really guilty. Or maybe it was a practical joke?? Who knows, but last night, as I pulled into my apartment parking lot, I noticed it was gone again. The same one! ERG. It makes more sense now that I'm practically living in downtown Houston. As a coworker recently said, "Girl, you live in the heart of Houston. It's dangerous!" haha I've felt pretty safe so far. But I can't help but hold out hope that someone is going to put my hubcap back. I'll be checking to see regularly. So whoever you are out there stealing my hubcap, PUT IT BACK and we can forget it ever happened!!

Thoughts on Complementarianism & Egalitarianism

Whew, what a title! I don't typically get into complex theological matters. Sure, theology is interesting to me, and I even enjoy discussing it from time to time, but there is this certain point I reach where I say, "Who cares, can we just get on with life?!"

All that to say, I just recently ran across an article about Irving Bible Church embracing egalitarianism. Egalitarianism being the belief that there are no biblically mandated timeless distinctions between men and women in the church. They stress an equality of men and women, not merely for salvation or in essential personhood, but in opportunities to hold every office and play every role that exists in church life. This is in contrast to complementarianism, which is the belief that there are certain timeless restrictions on women’s roles in the church. They stress that persons in positions of authority can function in loving, supportive ways that do not lead to the abuse of those in subordinate positions. Certain roles are altogether prohibited for women.

Irving Bible Church is a large church that has been closely affiliated with Dallas Theological Seminary (as many of its professors attend there). However, due to Irving Bible's recent decision to embrace a new view of women's roles in the church, DTS president Mark Bailey will no longer be a part of the "speaker team" at Irving Bible.

Irving Bible Church's elders began a "an 18-month journey of prayer, study and discussion," in response to questions arising about women's specific roles in the church. (Whether they could lead certain groups, teach men, etc.) The conclusion they arrived at was this:

"At IBC we recognize that God created both man and woman in His image, that He offers the same Holy Spirit to both men and women at salvation, and that the same spiritual gifts are available to both men and women for service. While the New Testament seems to imply that eldership is reserved for men, the elders of IBC affirm that women in all other roles are scripturally qualified, spiritually blessed, and directly called to use their spiritual gifts to build Christ’s Kingdom."

More specifically, through study of the scripture they found that:

1.The accounts of creation and the fall (Genesis 1-3) reveal a fundamental equality between men and women

2. Women exercised significant ministry roles of teaching and leading with God’s blessing in both Old and New Testaments

3. Though the role of women was historically limited, the progress of revelation indicates an ethic in progress leading to full freedom for women to exercise their giftedness in the
local church

4. Key New Testament passages restricting women’s roles
were culturally and historically specific, not universal principles
for all time and places

5. Though women are free to use all of their giftedness in
teaching and leading in the church, the role of elder seems
biblically to be relegated to men.

This is the link to their 24 page document outlining these findings: http://www.irvingbible.org/fileadmin/pdf/special_sections/women_ministry/women_ministry_IBC.pdf

Anyways, this topic caught my attention, as I have always had mixed feelings about women's roles in the church myself. I wasn't raised to think one way or another about it, although most of the churches we attended had only males in leadership roles. However, as I got older and began attending a church that most definitely took a complimentarian view, I started to wonder what I thought. Several of my relatives are in leadership/pastor churches where women are part of the leadership. When my Bible study took a look at passages in 1st Timothy and 1st Corinthians this semester, I had many questions as to the relevance and implications of those scriptures in our lives today. Some of what Paul said seemed cultural (pertaining to that time period) or more broadly referring to a need for order in church worship. Many of the women in our Bible study were strongly opposed to any view other than complimentarianism. But I left not knowing what I thought; if anything I felt less convinced of the complimentarian view than I had before studying and discussing the passages in detail.

Does this mean I consider myself someone who holds an egalitarian view of women's roles in the church? I don't really know right now. I do know that I don't fully agree with complimentarianism, though - or I'm not completely convinced it's the "correct" view based on scripture. It's not a matter that will determine mine or anyone else's salvation, but it is a matter that changes how a church body functions. It also significantly impacts how women function within the church. If I don't feel convinced by scripture that women are prohibited from having leadership roles in the church, then why would I support the prohibition? The thought of women being in leadership isn't comfortable to me because I'm not used to it. But that doesn't mean it's wrong. It could very likely be a matter of tradition, or what I'm familiar with. And that's not a biblical issues, that's a human issue.