Comfortable

This is how I feel in College Station. It's like a cozy bed early in the morning: warm, familiar, and so hard to make yourself leave. Before I knew for sure that I was leaving, I felt stir crazy. I have wanted to get out for years. I thought I would suffocate if I had to stay here. I used to jokingly say, "If I'm dying, please wheel me across the city limit line so I can at least say I died in Navasota." I was very, very happy to hear that I was getting to leave. Go somewhere new. Start something new. I still am. But now, I'm realizing how comfortable I am here. I have my routines, my family, the people I hang out with. I resisted settling in here after college because I always planned on leaving, being gone soon. But even with the resisting, some settling has happened. And now I have to pick myself up out of this familiar place and go somewhere new: new people, new place to live, new church, oh, yeah, and that five year PhD program I hardly know anything about. I start sweating a little bit when I think about writing that dissertation. I'm happy, but it's bittersweet. I will miss my dog. I will miss my family. And I will miss my friends. In that order. Just kidding. Really though, leaving has made me realize how truly blessed I am here in College Station.